Vegetarians

If I was to cast a vote about who I hate most, gays would rank first, but vegetarians would definitely be very close.

I always get the feeling a vegetarian looks down on me. As if not eating meat makes them morality superior.

“Oh look at me not eating meat like an omnivore should; I have the moral high ground in this party.”

Good one Captain Planet. You win this round, the rest of us meat eating, protein basking, taste loving losers sure got the worst of that exchange. Oh wait, did I say worst? I actually meant best, because I’m eating a motherfucking steak sandwich right now, and it tastes like win.

They make everything so fucking awkward as well. Imagine you’re having a bunch of friends over for dinner and you decide that steak is going to be on the menu, very good idea, oh, wait, that’s right, one of the pesky fuckers is a vegetarian so now you have to cook something different for them.
 

It’s always

“Oooooo, I can’t actually eat that I’m a vegetarian (slight pause here as they wait for their pat on the back) so you’ll have to cook something else.”

Oh yeah? Is that right? Well how about I wrap my dick in lettuce and shove it down you’re fucking throat.

Just once I’d like to hear them say

 “Sorry for being a complete pain in the actual ass and making everything overly fucking complicated because I’m a self-loving, egotistical, pasta munching twat.

Dicks.